My Hips Don't Lie

I'm feeling compelled to write today, as I have just returned from a visit to the orthopedic specialist.  "My Life as a Pastry Chef" is not just about sweets.  I hope that by sharing my personal stories of life's trials and tribulations we can  learn from one another about finding our unique path, reaching goals and dealing with setbacks.

I live by the motto of "Everything happens for a reason."  Some call it coincidence, I call it a learning experience.  When I was 9 years old, I began having hip pain, and was diagnosed with a rare bone disease called Legg Calve Perthese.  I spent two years on crutches before my parents located a specialist who could perform surgery to realign my hip with hardware.  At age 11, I underwent the surgery, followed by six weeks in a cast from the waist down.  With physically therapy, we strengthened the leg and I essentially learned how to walk again and bear weight on it without overcompensating.  I had a second surgery a year later to remove the hardware (no cast this time).

Other than range of motion loss and some fatigue, I was able to have a pretty normal childhood from that point on through college.  My family moved to the country when I started 7th grade, so no one knew I had been crippled.  I took classes in tap, jazz, and ballet, and swam distance on my high school swim team.  I danced with my boyfriend at prom.  I've been on amazing trips to destinations in and out of the country.  I eventually got over the fact that there is an ugly, 7" long scar on my left thigh and stopped trying to hide it.  It tells a story - my story.  I was and still am very grateful that I could participate in normal activities, even just walking on my own.  Someone always has it worse than you.

Over the past year, the days where I experience stiffness and pain have increased.  People have noticed me limping, and often it is hard to find a comfortable position to sit and sleep.  Heavy exercise is asking for a night of sharp pain only to be slightly alleviated by a hot bath.  Inactivity, sitting for long periods of time, can be just as bothersome, leading to a whole day of discomfort.

After Mr. Scott raged at me to stop whining and DO SOMETHING, I made an appointment here in Saint Paul with an orthopedic specialist.  X-rays of my hip had not been taken since I was maybe 14.  It's pretty clear which hip is the healthy one:

<---This hip good.  This hip bad--->

We've known all along that there is a hip replacement (or two, or three) in my future.  They like to put this off as long as possible since it can wear out quickly with the activity a younger person experiences compared to someone later in life.  What the doctor recommended today is surgery to shave and reshape the deformed ball of the femur.  He described it as "ice cream falling off the cone," which really made me want some Mint Chip.  In truth, I wasn't prepared to hear surgery was in my near future.  A million conflicting issues when through my head:

I shouldn't have to deal with this right now.
How will I pay for it?
I'll have to take time off work.
What will recovery be like?
Someone will have to care for me.
What if it doesn't help?
What if it does?
I hate needles!

I'm scheduled for an MRI in a week to get a better look at the bone from all sides and to see if there is extensive cartilage and tissue damage.  It will also help in deciding if and when I should have surgery, though the doctor was pretty matter-of-fact about things only getting worse from here without it.

I was feeling pretty down about this, when I remembered a story I read about a cake artist from New Mexico.  Extremely talented, she had won many contests with her cakes and even created new techniques in decorating.  Her dream was to compete in one of the Food Network Challenges.

I'm having a hard time recalling her exact medical conditions, but this woman ended up having to be confined to a wheelchair.  I believe they wanted to amputate her hands as well, but her family refused.  Miraculously, she was able to recover and continued producing beautiful cakes while in a wheelchair with great success.  The woman was thrilled to be accepted as a participant in a Food Network Challenge!  But this privilege was taken away when producers discovered her handicap, which was considered a liability.

My heart broke for her.  To be denied your dream because of circumstances you have no control over had to be devastating.  But we pick ourselves up and look to the positive:  She has hands that still work to express her art.  She has her heart and mind to share with family and friends.  She inspired me to be grateful for the opportunities life presents and not take any of them for granted.

I'll get through this.  You'll get through your "this" too.  And right now, all I can think about is how badly I want to someday own a bakery that is successful enough to donate funding to research the causes and treatment of Legg Calve Perthese and other orthopedic syndromes.  That Wikipedia article says 1 in every 1,000 children are diagnosed with Perthese {lucky me}.  Yes, it isn't cancer, it isn't life threatening, but no child nor parent should have to experience the risks or financial burden surgery brings.  And if I can provide any sort of relief to families out there going through this with their child, that there is hope, that is what I must do.

All my love,
Rachel

Pin It